Deborah Rankin

Who do we think we’re fooling?

Last night my cousin and I laughed big belly laughs about people who lie over obvious things and fool no one. It reminds me of the new roofs on my houses and dating online.

What?

Repair the roof, don’t just paint over stains
In the last eighteen months, I bought two new roofs. One for my residence and one for my rental property. It was awesome spending big bucks on roofs while I looked for work. If I sent out Christmas cards I would have shared photos of thick three tab shingles, or a white heat reflective TPO membrane with the cheery caption “What a great holiday with my two new roofs!” Those who sent pictures from their Alaska cruise or bike tour of Australia would have been SO jealous.

roof

My other option was to cover the stains on my ceiling, which would have been more expensive in the long run. Without a new roof it would have been harder to sell my home. Unchecked moisture in my rental house could cause decay and attract pests. It’s just not good business to paint over stains in the ceiling without fixing the roof. Yet we often attempt that in our personal lives.

  • Have news you fear others may not like? Don’t cover it up. It will come out, and you damage your credibility and trust by withholding it.
  • Did your business, finances, or family fall apart? We get it. Everyone has had at least one of those losses. We know more about what you’re going through than you think.

Let trusted friends and family see your stained ceiling and offer compassion and care.

If you’re 5’ 6″ don’t claim to be 5’ 10”
In the dark ages of the early 2000s, I attempted to meet my soulmate online. Everyone had a story about lies in online dating. Men complained about women who used pictures showing them fifty pounds lighter and/or ten years younger. I learned that men under five foot nine added at least two inches to their true height in their profile. I won’t claim to understand the reason for that. I will say that height is a stupid thing about which to lie. Lie about your job, your income, or heaven help us your marital status, and you might get by with it for a while. Lie about your height and I know it the instant we meet!

man on a stump

In one phone conversation, I complimented a man who listed his height as 5’5”.

“It’s great to meet a man honest about his height. Everyone else tends to add inches.”

This would have been an excellent time for him to speak up and say something. For example,

“Actually, I’m not 5’5”. My true height is closer to five foot two.”

You guessed it. He let me discover that in person.

I return to my original questions. Who do we think we’re fooling? Let’s stop trying to be something or someone we aren’t. Be real. Most people probably see what is going on. Lying hurts the person who lies. Deceit creates distance between people and adds stress because being false consumes a lot of energy.

What area of life most tempts you to cover up a stained ceiling? Is it work, family, finances, or friends? I would like to hear your comments and reactions. Please, share them below.

Coming Next
In the midst of change and travel I’ve lost the tripod and microphone I use to film my videos. If I find them soon, I’d like to share a reading from Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations. If I don’t find them, perhaps I’ll tell you how one question I learned from that book transformed my relationship with a family member.

Till then, relax and be real!

©2016 Booktalk Lady LLC

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